Tiger's out the cage...

Did anyone hear about the Tiger Woods scandal? It Just broke, like right now... apparently he was having affairs with multiple women. I'm happy to be the first to break the news, it's a huge honor... Oh wait, you did hear about it?!? My mistake - I should have known, because IT'S EFFING EVERYWHERE!

I really don't think it should shock people anymore that celebrities and athletes get their fill on the side. Remember the Kobe Bryant scandal in 2003? I feel like that kind of opened the door for everyone to realize, "Whoa, a celebrity cheating on his wife!?! That's nuts!" Another clue should have been when Kobe then proceeded to say Shaq does it too, he just makes financial deals with his lady friends to keep their mouths shut. The book, "Game of Shadows" came out in 2006 and included a ton of information from a Barry Bonds ex-girlfriend (he was married at the time. Shocker, right?) More recently, Steve McNair was fatally shot by a a 20-year old he was having an affair with. A direct quote from ESPN.com's story, "Interviews with friends revealed that... she suspected the married McNair was having a second affair with another young woman." See? It happens!

Regardless - Kobe, Shaq, Barry Bonds and Steve McNair aren't in the same class as Tiger Freakin' Woods. (I'm about to go off topic...) Kobe is one of those guys who, no matter what emotion he's playing in an interview, ALWAYS seems fake. (Definitely off topic now... crap) I hear him try to be funny, and instantly think, "That didn't look natural, maybe he's just not a funny guy." It took me a long time to realize this, and I must credit Bill Simmons (aka The Sports Guy on ESPN.com) for being the first to break the big news: Kobe, despite being ridiculously good at one thing, simply isn't a cool guy. He fakes it, and often times it's obvious. Bill has known it for years, he's genius. But Kobe isn't the only one.

It's like when fans see guys who are outrageously good at something - specifically athletes, musicians and actors - we automatically assume they're super cool too. I'm as guilty as anyone in this; every athlete, band, actor, anyone who I follow for one reason or another - is just automatically one of the coolest people in the room, regardless of where they are. It just makes sense. Can you think of someone who you absolutely admire and respect for their performing abilities, but who you can admit is a huge dork? Doubtful.

Kobe is a top two or three player in the league, some even think he's the best - so it's not possible that as a person he's just not THAT cool, right? No way, because he's KOBE BRYANT!
Except it is possible, and it's true. Just watch:
(I should note that I watched only 28 seconds of the video, it's all I needed to validate the last two paragraphs. Maybe in the remaining five and a half minutes he's really cool, but I doubt it.)



Did anyone else think his first answer wasn't that funny? It was a stupid question to begin with, but Kobe's answer and reaction were equally bad. After he was dying of laughing at his own (not funny) joke, he reached over to get some love from Marc Ecko and secretly said, "Dude, laugh at my joke, bail me out!" And if they're both laughing (two iconic multi-millionaires), there must be something wrong with us for thinking it was stupid! Right?

Barry Bonds is similar in a sense that he's just not a friendly person. He officially retired not too long ago, but for a very long time Barry didn't even bother to put on a front. The media knew what to expect from him in an interview, which is pretty much nothing, and he knew the media expected nothing, so there was no reason to act. What mattered though is that it was Barry Bonds - 762 home runs, seven MVP's, 14 All-Star game appearances... BARRY BONDS! His terrible interviews still garnered way more attention than an interview from any other guy in that club house, and even when they interviewed the other guys, they asked about... yes, BARRY BONDS!

I'm slowly getting back on track, promise. The point of that was - celebrities are not THAT much different than everyone else, despite the size of the pedestal we put them on. I've learned this through family adversity and elsewhere, and as the years go on I realize it more and more - no one has a perfect life. No one. If it's not one thing (lack of coolness - see Kobe Bryant), it's another (lack of people skills - see Barry Bonds). There's always something. For Tiger Woods, it obviously wasn't money, fame, or success... Because not only did he have all of those, he was the KING of all of those. He was the first athlete to earn $1,000,000,000. That's ONE BILLION DOLLARS! He was on top of the world, and he still wanted more.

That brings me to my next point though, which is how disturbing it is that a persons right to privacy has completely deteriorated over the years. I know Jim Rome made a great point a few weeks ago when he said, and I paraphrase (not quote) - "You can't be famous when you want to be, and not famous when you don't want to be." Basically saying, you shouldn't be playing professional golf at the highest level if you aren't willing to accept the consequences of being a superstar. And Jim Rome is pretty much always right, and I agree with him here to a degree, as well. But the Tiger Woods saga has gotten out of hand, last I checked (a long time ago, I don't bother updating myself with it anymore), there were ten women who came forward saying they, at one point or another, had affairs with Tiger Woods. Who knows whether or not all the stories are true, for all we know there could be far more. But on the flip side, for all we know there could be significantly LESS and we'll never know it. That's what pains me! Even though a man is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, cases like Tiger's are quite the opposite; he's already been labeled as guilty.

Before you guys flip out and say, "Wait, but Tiger admitted to cheating, he IS guilty!!!" I know, I read the statement he released on his website where he admitted to cheating, I get it. But he certainly didn't admit to cheating with ten different women. And if he does, it's the principle that the media already convicted him of being guilty, before he had a say in it.

Think about how simple it is for a low, attention craving woman to hear the story on the news, and say "Hmm... I could go for some attention right now, my life is a little dull." All she has to do is make a few phone calls, make up a few stories, and... YES! Breaking news - Tiger has now cheated with eleven women!

He's guilty until proven innocent, and it's a sad thing to see.

If this makes me sound like I condone what Tiger has done, or I approve of what Tiger has done, I apologize - because I do no such thing. But I truly feel for his family and what the media has made of this personal issue. How do you recover from this? I don't know if you do.

On a lighter note, you may have noticed in my last blog that I spoiled the season finale of Dexter. Actually, I didn't spoil it, because spoiling it would have been me releasing the ending BEFORE the finale, which I'd never do. But whatever - Sorry for not warning Dexter fans that I would write about the season finale. I can't guarantee anything, but it probably wont happen again. "Probably" is actually kind of a strong word, let's just say I'll try my best.

Anyway, Julie Benz, the actress who plays Rita, had a chance to read my blog. I swear. Let's see what she said:



What a woman, right? I almost responded with "Marry me?" But I thought a facebook proposal would be lame, so I'll wait till we meet to pop the big question. Moving on, I heard through the grapevine Julie was a sweet, genuinely nice, down to earth person. And I'd have to agree, she's great - all of the above. Did you catch that wink face I threw down at the end of my response? Yeaaaah boiiiii.

I've had a few requests to mention soccer in Da Blaaahg, and how it's relevant since the World Cup draws were released a couple of weeks ago. So by popular (but not really) demand - here's me talking about soccer: The United States caught a huge break by being in the same bracket as Slovenia, Algeria, and the only other team who's happier than Team USA - England. If Landon Donovan and Co. don't make it out of group play, it'll be a huge let down, and remind me again why I didn't intend on writing about soccer. How about that for a pep talk? Yes Bob Bradley, you may use it. Go get 'em team. (Note: I played soccer my whole life, I'm a big fan of the sport. It's just not "Da Blaaahg" friendly. There's no drama. None in English, anyway.)

My number one most anticipated event of 2010 (right behind me getting an actual job, but since that's not guaranteed, it's not on the list) - Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs Manny Pacquaio. March 13, 2010 at an undetermined location (by undetermined, I mean VEGAS), we will likely see the biggest boxing match ever. Two guys who are unquestionably atop the pound-for-pound rankings. I'm a notorious Floyd lover, so I'll try not to be biased in my prediction: Floyd wins a unanimous decision (I said I'd try... and I did, sort of). What the Pac-Man has done in the last three years has been great, absolutely great. He finished fights, and he never stops charging. His skills have brought fans back to the sport that was (and still is) in serious jeopardy. My basis for picking Floyd is as follows: There's a reason that before Floyd retired he was the unanimous pick as the pound-for-pound best boxer in the world. Pacquaio was still fighting then, but no one even thought twice about confidently picking Floyd. Then he retired for 21-months, Pac-Man won a few big fights, and now people are forgetting what Floyd Mayweather has done. He's unhittable (made that word up); He sports a 40-0 record and hasn't been knocked down once. NOT ONCE! It's unheard of. I think Pacquaio presents more problems than past opponents, with his blend of speed and power, but Floyd's speed, tactical defense, and overall perfection in the ring will likely be the difference. I wouldn't be surprised at the slightest to see this fight happen more than once, and you shouldn't be either. No one will be catching either of them anytime soon.

SONG OF THE WEEK - Your favorite, or least favorite part - I guess it would be kinda lame to pick "Seventeen Years" by Ratatat again, huh? Fine. When I was writing my last piece, I was going through a bit of an "Electronic music is the best!" phase, and it hasn't ended yet, making this weeks pick, "Electric Feel" by MGMT. You're going to love it. Enjoy.